“Forgiveness isn’t about saying what happened was okay. It’s about refusing to let what happened define the rest of your life.”
There comes a moment in every woman’s life when she has to make a choice.
A choice to continue carrying the weight of hurt, disappointment, rejection, and anger—or a choice to finally put it down.
For me, that choice was forgiveness.
It wasn’t easy.
Like many women, I’ve experienced deep pain. Family challenges, broken relationships, disappointment, and moments that left scars on my heart. For years, I carried those wounds everywhere I went. On the outside, I smiled. On the inside, I was weighed down by resentment, unanswered questions, and the pain of what had been done to me.
Then I realised something that changed my life forever.
Holding onto unforgiveness wasn’t hurting the people who hurt me.
It was hurting me.
As the saying goes, holding onto unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
That truth hit me hard.
Forgiveness Is a Choice—Made Every Day
Many people think forgiveness is a one-time event. In reality, it’s a journey.
Some mornings, you wake up feeling free. Other days, old memories resurface. That’s why forgiveness is a decision you may need to make again and again.
Every single day, choose peace.
Every single day, choose freedom.
Every single day, choose forgiveness.
Not because the other person deserves it—but because you deserve to live without carrying yesterday’s pain.
You Don’t Need an Apology to Heal
One of the hardest lessons I learned is that closure doesn’t always come from someone saying, “I’m sorry.”
Sometimes the apology never comes.
Sometimes the person who hurt you doesn’t even realise the damage they caused.
If you’re waiting for someone else’s apology before you can move on, you’re giving them control over your future.
Forgive anyway.
Not for them.
For you.
Because your peace is too valuable to place in someone else’s hands.
Don’t Forget to Forgive Yourself
One of the most difficult people I had to forgive was myself.
I had to let go of regret.
I had to forgive myself for dreams that didn’t happen when I thought they would.
For mistakes I made.
For staying too long in situations that no longer served me.
For believing I wasn’t enough.
Self-forgiveness is one of the greatest acts of self-love.
You cannot move confidently into your future while constantly punishing yourself for your past.
Give yourself grace.
Practical Ways to Begin Forgiving
Forgiveness starts with honesty.
Here are a few practices that helped me:
* Write in a journal. Begin with the simple words: “Today I choose to forgive…”
* Talk to someone you trust—a mentor, friend, counsellor, or pastor.
* Pray and ask God to soften your heart.
* If appropriate, send a message to someone you’ve been holding resentment towards—not because you owe them anything, but because you’re choosing freedom.
Each small step removes another brick from the emotional wall you’ve been carrying.
Forgiveness Changes Everything
When you forgive, you don’t erase the past.
You reclaim your future.
You become a more present mother.
A more loving partner.
A better friend.
A healthier version of yourself.
Your children notice.
Your relationships improve.
Most importantly, your heart becomes lighter.
Forgiveness creates space for joy, peace, purpose, and healing to grow.
Choose Freedom Today
If you’ve been carrying pain for years, let today be the day you make a different choice.
You don’t have to carry that burden anymore.
You don’t have to relive yesterday’s hurt every time you wake up.
You deserve peace.
You deserve healing.
You deserve joy.
So today, I leave you with these simple words:
Let it go, my sister.
It’s not worth sacrificing your happiness for pain that belongs in your past.
Forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts you’ll ever give yourself.
And I promise you—it is worth it.
With love,
Colleta Radza
Founder, Momma Nation